I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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