I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
