the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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