Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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