So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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