So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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