i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
