Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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