i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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