Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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