I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
