so explain again why im purple
no
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
