I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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