Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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