We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
