One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
