I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
