i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
