with your own penis?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
