I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
