And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
