Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
