i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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