YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
