You're so nebulous sometimes
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
