She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
