Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
