After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Best friends brother. Beat that.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
we're so committed to being not committed
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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