I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
