We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
