Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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