Tell her she can't have a vagina
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
