My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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