I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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