dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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