he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
