I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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