They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
