Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
