You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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