Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
