me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
