your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
