yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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