Jerry, you need to find god
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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