i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
