I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
