You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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