BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
