xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
