I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
