I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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