This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
