i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dicks are not precious.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
