my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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