your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
