Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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