You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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