Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
